Whatever Happened to….


Whatever happened to….

New Years Prayer

God, grant me the senility to forget people

I never liked anyway.

The good fortune to run into

the ones that I do.

And the eyesight to tell the difference.

Hello Sunshines’, Are you all ready for another oink and boink? I, for one, am glad the holidays are now over. It is always feels like such a long, drawn out process just to get through them. Now, with the new year, it is time to get back to business. I am glad that 2011 is finally over, done and gone. And from what I have heard from some of you out there, I think you are glad it is gone too. I look forward to 2012, for as 2011 was winding down, I began to realize that 2012 should be the year we all make our mark. And I hope and pray it is much better for all of us.

To start off2012 with today’s page, I have one simple question to ask. Whatever happened to that guy I used to know? He was the one that could work all day and party all night long. You know who I’m talking about; he was the guy who was built solid as a rock and was as strong as an ox too. Where did that guy go? Oh man-he was fearless, he stood 6′ tall, and bulletproof. The guy I knew never backed down from a fight. His chest was so tight, girls used to bounce quarters off of it. His arms, when wrapped around your neck, could squeeze your head and pop it off like a zit. Along with his strength, he had the good looks and the ability to charm the panties off of any woman, drunk or sober.

I know that you know who I am talking about. He was the guy who taught me how to be who I am today. He taught me many things; like how I shouldn’t let anyone push me around. Always back up your buddy, you never know when you will need him to do the same for you. And he always taught me most importantly, to never leave a man behind. Wow, I didn’t realize it has be so long since I have seen him. Where did he go?

We used to ride the two lane on two wheels for days on end. For us, the sky was our only limit and when we were together, we never let anything stop us or get in our way. I guess for him what used to be wine, women and song must have turned into beer, TV and the old lady. But where did he go? I sure do miss him!

Some have said that he must have grown up, that he became a responsible adult, but I don’t believe it, my best friend would never do such a horrible thing like that. Some say that he died along the way and that we never knew it had happened. Nope, not him, he was to live on forever. He had dreams and not only the inspiration to do great things, he inspired me to lead my own path. He had a lot left to do. He was so young and strong, he was legendary. There was no way he ever died. I won’t believe that for one minute! I wish he would come back.

I admit that I do know where he is. Yet, as I watch in the mirror while sitting on the bathroom counter, I can see the gray hairs mixing in with the blond in his beard, the hair on the sides of his head now show gray too. I guess you could say that the top has thinned a little too. The chest is not so tight anymore, if you tried to bounce a quarter off it now, the quarter would just lay there. Those arms while they still posses the strength, now they also have a few aches and pains, sometimes that pain will radiate in the lower back. Mornings prove to be rather slow to start, the effort to get out of bed has the sounds of a haunted house creaking and moaning. A six pack of beer was nothing for him to drink along with a few shots of whiskey. Now he has cut back and uses the whiskey as a pain medicine. What happened to him?

The party animal I used to know has changed, now he begins to look upon 2012 as the year he will get it all back. I hear him say all the time 2012 will be the year he makes his mark, that he will lose the gut, quit the smokes and the beer.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, Please oh please don’t quit being the party animal I know and love. What will I do? What other degenerate will I hang around with? No one else is as fun as he is. What will a pig like me do if he cleans up his act?

Quite frankly, I don’t think he can do it. Have you ever seen him try to quit smoking before, it’s kind of funny to watch. He turns into this all crazy, weird, jittering freak who starts bouncing off the walls tearing shit up and yelling at everyone for no reason at all. It is quite the hysterical scene to watch. All that in less then two hours of quitting smoking. He won’t last a day. And don’t expect me to help him either, I love watching him self-destruct.

OK, OK, maybe I’ll help a little. Tell you what I’m going to do, I’ll be there to support him on the smoking, I’ll encourage him to quit. And this is what I’ll do, I’ll follow him, see how many smokes he sneaks in and report it back to you. This should be fun to do and I’ll even let you know how many three year old style temper tantrums he has in the process too. It should be fun to write about for a few weeks. So check back soon and I’ll fill you in on his process. And we will see if this year, he makes his mark.

Ride Hard or Stay Home.

Pig.

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