Where Have You Been Pig?


English: Waffle House Logo

English: Waffle House Logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey Piglets

The bike is ready to go

The bike is ready to go

Yeah I know it’s been a while since my last blog. I guess you could say I am guilty as charged for not writing. So sue me.

For the week of Thanksgiving, Rainman and I completed what was an epic journey by motorcycle from San Antonio to St. Louis. A ride that was a mire 2148 miles. Call it a journey in search of the World’s Largest Ball of String. But it was more than a journey, for us, it was an adventure of a life time. The places we seen, the food we ate, and the people we met along the way, made our adventure all the more interesting and memorable.

What we enjoyed the most was some of the comments we got from people along the way.

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Heard this one from a guy at a gas station in Atoka OK. “Hey, that’s a nice looking bike you’ve got there, Oh wait, that’s a Honda motorcycle isn’t it?”

-Yeah, it would be a Honda.

Got this from a lady at a restaurant in Hillsboro TX. “You look just like my brother in that outfit.”

Only thing is I’m more handsome than him.

You don’t publish names do you? I don’t want my ex-husband to find out where I live.” This from the front desk clerk at one of the hotels we stayed at in Bentonville AR.

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Bet you boys could use some coffee, huh?” I heard from the waitress in Shelly’s Café in Cuba MO .

No thanks, my teeth just like to imitate a jackhammer.

I wish I was going with you” Said the nurse on her way to work at the hospital. – That’s funny since most people in the medical field tell us to “Get out while you’re still alive”.

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“Don’t you have warmer transportation than that”?      Had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing at the old grandma at the gas station in Rolla MO.

We were drinking coffee, having a conversation with an old man at the Waffle House in Rolla MO. When all of the sudden he says in a yelling voice, “Who the F… are you to be talking to me.”

OK, the people in Rolla MO are starting to scare me.

Eat your bacon Pig, don’t let it go to waste.” Breakfast one morning at grandma’s house.

I think grandma & I need to talk.

Hey everybody, he’s not nuts, he’s a writer for a magazine”, replied a waitress in McAlester OK. She was proud to announce it across the whole restaurant after she learned who we were.

Can we please get out of Oklahoma now?

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I swear this next one really happened. It was at a roadside diner called Mom’s Home Cooking in Vinta OK.

Hey you’re a cute little pig” said the waitress. I looked up at her to respond and I saw she had four breasts protruding from her sweater. All I could say was

Mama, Mama.

Did you know you have a pig on your motorcycle? Around here we keep our pigs in a pen.” Said the smartass punk at a stop light in Gelena Kansas.

– Shame on you for imprisoning your pigs like that and stop romancing the sheep.

The absolute best one I heard was from Rainman himself. We were just outside Bourbon MO. We were going uphill fast and hard to pass a semi-truck when all of the sudden, everything got quite. Real quite. And then all I heard was “Oh Shit, the bike ran out of gas.”

Ride Hard, and fill the gas tank.

Have a nice day.

Pig

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