Month: August 2012

by

I’m Back Again


Pig Writes:

Greetings to all my lovers of pork out there. Yeah buddy, I’m back. I know that you had missed me a lot knowing I was injured so badly. I just needed a little time to heal up. I’m all better now, I took the bandages off last night and I have very little scarring. I want to thank everyone for their concerns and get wells sent to me. I really appreciated all of you sentiments. And now I guess it is time for me to come clean. Let me explain.

Yes, I was attacked. Yes, I was beat up. And yes, I did know who did it. But your really gonna laugh about this when you hear it. That night after I went to bed, I was lying down on my shelf. One of our cats, Bailey,

decided she wanted to lay down with me on the shelf. Well, when she does that there is not enough room for the both of us. Plus she always ends up clawing me in the middle of the night. So, wanting to get some undisturbed sleep, I pushed her off of me. It seems that she wasn’t going to comply with me wishes, so she fought back.

The crashing sound Rainman heard that night was the two of us wrestling and tumbling over the edge of the shelf. Yes I did hit my head on the next shelf going down. Yes, I was knocked out cold. And yes, the someone or something Rainman felt move by him was Bailey running from the scene of the crime. The crime being that bitch got the best of me by fighting like a girl (all the hair pulling and clawing she did). OK, Y’all happy now? There, I admitted it. I got beat up by a girl.

Bad thing is, if Rainman wouldn’t have freaked out and posted on-line that I was attacked, I wouldn’t be in the position I’m in now. Thanks Dude, mighty white of you”.

So I spent the rest of the week resting and getting healed up. Well, it was more like grounded from my computer. I found out that our other cat, Blue,

ratted me out on what had happened. Saturday, we had the Sentinels MC fundraiser I wanted to go to. So I had to watch my P’s and Q’s around the house.

Saturday finally came and I was ready to get out of the house. Mom made sure since I was grounded that I had plenty, and when I say plenty, I mean PLENTY of chores to do around the house. I was getting on the bike when Rainman took no chances with us riding over to Buck’s Saloon.

Once we got there I was able to have a beer or two and just chill out with some of my kind of people.

They even had live music from Jack Ruby Tuesday. They are a pretty good band that play a lot of biker kind of music (a mixture of classic rock). The Sentinels MC fundraiser was for the Bair Foundation and the Wounded Warriors/Fisher House Program. They had brisket and sausage plates for sale along with raffles and stuff. I gotta tell ya this, the brisket kicked butt. The boys started cooking that stuff around 4PM the day before. They cooked all through the night and that morning. That was some mighty good brisket. I couldn’t eat the sausage though, if it had any pork in it, that might have been my cousin Wilbur, we all know he ain’t no damn good.

After a couple of beers for pain killers, I decided I needed to get laid. And a little while later, I was getting laid more and more. I really enjoyed it. Thank you ladies.

Well, it looks like all is well now. Mom is resting, Rainman is making homemade chicken and dumplings for dinner,

I’m back to do my writing thing and the cats are busy with their naps. Life is good, especially when you have loving family and friends who care about you. Thanks to all of you once again. I love you all. But I will love you even more if you show up with cold beer to share.

Ride HARD or Stay Home

Pig

B.T.W. SHHHHHH! Rainman turns 50 in two weeks.  

by

Pig’s Interview


 

Pigs Interview

 

Rainman Writes:

 

Look at what they did to my little Buddy

 

For those of you who are wondering, Thunder Roads Writer Pig is recovering nicely and the culprit(s) still have not been caught.  Pig hasn’t said much, he sort of mumbles gibberish while on his pain meds.  Two things I have learned about Pig:

1.  Never try to teach Pig how to sing.

2.  Never try to talk to Pig when he is “high” on his pain meds.

Both are a waste of time and annoy Pig.

 

I was able to get a few questions answered when I handed Pig a beer.  He shotgunned the beer, sat bolt right up.  His eye popped open and he was his normal drunkard self for about five minutes.  I still need to know what he remembers about that night.  It is the only way we can find the culprit(s) who did this to Pig.  So quickly I fired off as many questions as I could.

 

RM:  “Pig, what do you remember after going to bed?”

Pig:   “I was dreaming of beer and boobs.”

 

RM:   “Who’s boobs?”

Pig:   “Big ones.”

 

RM:   “Pig, what happened when you were assaulted?”

Pig:   “I was asleep, then someone sucker punched me in the gut.”

 

RM:   “Then what happened?”

Pig:   “It was dark and I couldn’t see.  I started to fight back.  I was swinging wildly and I kept feeling something cut me.  I remember putting the assailant in a headlock.  We tumbled and I remember falling.  Then nothing else till I woke up in the hospital.”

 

RM:   “Do you remember anything at the hospital?”

Pig:   “I remember seeing cleavage and two big soft boobs.”

 

RM:   “Did you see your assailant?”

Pig:   “No Dumb-ass, I told you it was dark.”

 

RM:   “Do you remember anything else, any smells, feelings, ECT?”

Pig:   “Yeah, I remember bad breath, someone needed a Tic-tac.”

 

RM:   “Pig, before you had mentioned Bacon and Sizzle, what do those words mean?”

Pig:   “Not sure, I remember someone saying those words in a sentence.  But I cannot remember who it was that said it.”

RM:   “Do you have anyone mad at you?”

Pig:   No answer, Pig fell back asleep.

 

Here are the facts of what we know so far:

 

  1. The room was dark.
  2. Pig was sucker punched.
  3. He was knocked out hitting his head on the self falling to the floor.
  4. The assailant (one) had bad breath.
  5. He remember someone possibly threatening to cook him.
  6. Pig likes nurses with cleavage and big boobs.

 

All right folks, spread the word.  See if anyone knows anything.  Let us know ASAP.  You can leave a comment here or on Facebook.  Lets help Pig find justice while he rests.  We need him back writing as soon as he can.

 

Ride Hard or Stay Home

 

Rainman

 

by

Another Pig Update


 

Another Pig Update

 

Rainman Writes:

 

Hey everybody, we have great news.  Pig is now home from the hospital.  I got a call yesterday evening from the vet’s office and they said for me to come get Pig.  Seems that he was doing much better and was ready to come home. 

 

I got there as quick as I could.

 

I think Pig was ready to head home.  Along the way home I asked him who beat him up?  He wasn’t able to answer me very clearly since he was still on some pain meds.  However he did tell me “Bacon Sizzle”.  I have no clue as to what he meant by that.  Other than maybe he assailant might have threatened him with that.  Has anyone heard Pig being threatened with “Bacon Sizzle” or maybe “I’ll sizzle your bacon”?  Please let me know if you had, it just might help us to find who did this to Pig.

 

Look at what they did to my little Buddy

 

I got him home and decided since he had been through so much that he could sleep in our bed for the night.  I guess we will have to see how he feels later today.  I’m not sure when he will be ready to write again.  But hopefully it won’t be too long.

 

That feels better!

 

Thanks again for all your concerns and “Get Wells”  I will make sure Pig sees them all as soon as he is able.

 

 

Side note:  When I got to the vet’s I was able to figure out why Pig kept saying Ta Ta’s over and over.  The nurse who was caring for him was wearing a low cut shirt and everytime she bent over pig he was looking in her shirt at the tops of her twins.  I just knew they would take good care of him. 

 

It’s great to have our little buddy back.

 

Rainman

 

by

Pig Update


Pig Update

Rainman Writes:

For those of you who may not have heard, our dear friend, Pig, was brutally assaulted last night. Shortly after 10:00PM, after I had gone to bed, I was startled by a crashing sound that came from Pig’s room. I ran down the hall in the dark and as I entered into his room I felt something or someone move past me. When I turned the light on I found Pig. He was face down on the floor unconscious.

Pig always sleeps on the 2nd level of his book shelf.

Well I rolled him over and saw several SCRATCHES AND CUTS all over his body. I tried to wake him up, but it was to no avail. I quickly rushed Pig to the animal hospital. There the Dr. worked on him to save his life. I was forced to wait outside in the waiting room.

At 1:00 AM the Dr. finally came out with some news. It appears that Pig had been in some type of altercation. The cuts and scratches are consistent with claw like marks. The bruising shows blows to the head and body. The bump on the head must have been from him hitting one of the shelves on the way down to the floor. I asked the Dr. if he (Pig) could have done this falling off the shelf. No way, this was a full on fight for his life.

Pig was still unconscious, but was out of serious danger. I was told to go home and let Pig rest. I called the Vet’s office at 9:00 AM this morning, Pig was out for the night but his vital signs showed good and strong. They told me to call back around 3:00PM and for now let him rest.

I am very upset that someone or something came into our house and attacked Pig. We did call the police, they came out and checked over the house. There was no evidence of a forced entry. The only witnesses to the crime were our two cats, Blue & Bailey, and as of right now, they are not telling us anything. The cops said there isn’t much that they can do at this time without any evidence or witnesses.

Whoever had done this had planned it carefully to not leave a trace of evidence. This dastardly act of cowardness cannot be allowed to happen without justice for Pig. I am asking each of you if you know or have heard anything as to who might have done this to Pig, please come forward. If you don’t know anything please spread the word to others to find the lousy S.O.B who did this to Pig. Anyone with information can post it onto Pigs Page on Facebook. At this time we don’t have anything to offer for a reward other than a 12 pack of beer.

Together we can bring justice to Pig. Please keep all the “Get Wells” coming to Pig. He will need them when he gets home. I’ll keep you all updated as I know anything new

Thanks for all you love and support

Rainman.