Do You Know What Today Is?

Pig Writes:

Greetings

Well it’s March 1, 2013 and do you know what that means?

It’s time to pay that house payment – Yes.

Need to go to the grocery store and stock up – Ah Huh.

Still need to file my taxes – Yeap, that too.

What else is there about March 1^st?

It’s Friday – the weekend is here, Yea!

Your getting close, keep trying.

Oh, oh, oh, I know. It’s Share a Smile Day.

Smile! (Photo credit: sirwiseowl)

Wow, you’re getting warmer, here’s a hint. What coincides with Share a Smile Day?

I know, I know, it’s Peanut Butter Lovers Day.

Peanut butter is a semi-solid and can therefore hold peaks. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Your getting warmer, try one more time.

You say you can’t think of anything else it could be?

I just can’t believe you, Don’t you know March 1^st is National Pig Day.

That’s right folks today is the day we all pay homage to the pig – in other words to ME!

Devil’s Marbleyard: Pig (Photo credit: Vicky TGAW)

Oh joy, oh joy all hail Pig!

Thank you, thank you you may now kiss my hove.

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One More Step Up

 

Greetings to all my Pig fans out there.

 

I have great news today. 

 

There are times in our lives when we achieve great accomplishments.

 

Like drinking our first beer.

 

Or scoring your first (real) phone number from a hot babe.

 

Perhaps it could be the first time you reach 100MPH on a motorcycle and still be in 3^rd gear.

 

For writers it could be your first cover story on a magazine.  And that is what has been accomplished for me.

 

Yeap, squeeze me til I squeal cause I just got my first cover story writing for Thunder Roads Texas Magazine.

 

I’m so happy about; I wanted to share it with you all. 

 

It’s a story about two people falling in love and riding off into the sunset together.

 

Read it and tell me what you think.

 

Ride HARD or Stay Home.

 

Pig

 

 

This is God’s Country, Don’t Ride Through it Like Hell.

 

Greetings,

 

For those of you who didn’t hear, yesterday I spoke of an event so powerful it will change your life. 

 

An event so awesome that there will never be another one like it. 

 

This event is guaranteed to remove any and all symptoms of cabin fever or broken heart syndrome.

 

“Is there a catch to it” you ask?

 

Only one, you just have to be there.

 

We are three days and a awake up from the St. Valentines Day Massacre hosted by the Alamo City Gypsy’s.  This year the Rally will be in Hondo at the Medina County Fairgrounds.

 

There will be beer & B.B.Q..

 

There will be babes.

 

There will be bands with live music.

 

I am sending this out as a personal invite for all to come and enjoy a weekend of the biker lifestyle.

 

Leave me a reply if you are going or not.  For those of you who cannot be there letme know so I can drink a beer in your honor.   

 

The Winter Months Take Thier Toll

 

Pig Writes

 

 

Greetings to all my fine friends and companions.

 

Has the winter months been getting you down?

 

Did you NOT get everything you wanted for Christmas?

 

Did the 49’ers loss in the Super Bowl put you into a state of depression?

 

Or maybe you have a touch of the cabin fever?

 

Let me guess: Your girl friend just dumped you so she wouldn’t have to buy you a Valentines Gift?

 

Stop all that flubbering.  Put down that bag of Cheetos.  Dry your eyes and blow your nose.  Because I have great news just for you. 

 

We are 4 days and a wake up from a great event.  It is an event so powerful it will change your life.

 

Are You Ready For This?

 

It is now 4 days till the St. Valentines Day Massacre.

 

Yeap. Starting this Friday and running until Sunday there will be 3 days of pure biker partying.  And let me tell you buddy; this is one rally I am pumped up for.

 

I want you to make plans to be there, because come rain or shine we are gonna tear it up and I want you to be there standing (or leaning) right next to me.

 So come on down to South Texas for a party you will not soon forget. (Unless you wake up that way)

I’ll be back soon with more details.

 

Ride HARD or Stay Home.

 

Pig

 

Dreams

 

 

 

Pig Writes

 

 

Dreams

 

It has been awhile since my last real dream.

I’m not talking about the kind you have when you sleep.

Those you have no control over.

 

I’m talking about the dreams for the future.

The dreams of what you desire for your life.

The ones you want your life to become.

 

I feel like I have lost mine.

I know they are not gone.

It just seems I lost direction in making mine come true.

For now I feel like a car stuck in the mud.

No traction – just spinning in the slick.

 

Have you ever felt that way?

 

What have you done to get them back?

 

It’s funny how we always know what we want.

Achieving those dreams is never easy.

Only we are the master of our own future.

 

A new car or bigger house.

A shining new Harley.

A harem of hot women with no commitment issues.

Or maybe it’s a dream of financial security.

 

My dreams are my drive.

They motivate me to do better with my life.

They push me to achieve them.

 

I have to get them back.

 

What do your dreams do for you?

 

Drop me a comment of what your dreams do for you.  I would love to hear them and any suggestions you may have in helping me find my dreams.

 

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Another Christmas Story Part Two

Another Christmas Story Part Two

Pig Writes

A whole week went by and the materials sat there in the shop. Not a tool was pulled off the shelf nor a pencil sharpened.

His mind raged on in battle as to why he must face this task.

A task for a nephew he never met, for a sister-in-law he could not tolerate.

She cut him down in the past for his beliefs forged in the “old school” ways. He learned it was better to keep the peace, to mind his own business and keep to himself.

Now he is tasked to build something for the one person he despised the most.

The plan to build the toy box was simple, a few cuts of wood, a dab of glue along with a few screws and the toy box would be put together in a few hours. Yet he could not bring himself to the shop and start the project.

His heart was not in it.

His heart was not in it for all the wrong reasons.

It wasn’t the nephew’s fault.

But then Friday came with news of a horrible tragedy.

Twenty children and six adults would lose their lives to a madman.

The laughter silenced. The joy gone.

Those left behind will bear great pain for their loss.

Something changed inside the man’s mind. There was now movement in his heart.

Early that Saturday morning the work had begun. The tools of his craft were dusted off, cleaned and oiled. Blades were sharpened. Everything was ready to go.

I watched off to the side as the man got busy with his work. What he did once before as a young man now was a bit harder for him to do. The paunch of his fat belly strained his back, his tired eyes required prescription glasses instead of safety glasses. It was most certain he was not the same young man as long ago.

I watched as he toiled to make measurements and cuts. His written plans and drawings were more like notes scratched on paper to serve as reminders to him. The plan in his head being transferred to his hands. It didn’t take long before the raw materials began to take shape of a toy box. He continued working throughout the day. Only stopping for the occasional smoke break and a drink of his Dr. Pepper.

I asked him once during the day why he was going through all this work if he really didn’t want to. His only reply was “I have my reason.”

Singular.

That meant only one reason why.

I pondered as to what that one reason was.

At the end of the day the mans wife came out to the shop to see the progress made.

A smile grew on her face for she was pleased in what she saw.

Before her stood a grand toy box and shelf.

The wood was bare, the edges were rough-like the man who built it.

She loved him with all of her heart.

After a pause, the wife looked at her husband and asked “Where will the stars go?”

“Stars?”, the man & I looked at each other, “What stars?”

Ride HARD or Stay Home

Pig.

Rainman Gets Arrested

 

Pig Writes:

Hey there Piglets, yes, yes, yes, it’s me again. I have a new update for you. Are you ready for this? Here we go. In my last post I told ya’ll how Rainman (in his age of wisdom) forgot to renew his Texas drivers’ license. And now it is time to tell you what happened at the DMV As ya’ll know, at the DMV they have state troopers hanging out in the back room. They wait for dumb butts who walk in with warrants on their records and try to renew their license. They also wait there for the ones who drive up with a expired license too. And since Rainman has been driving for the past few weeks on an expired license…

I wanted to go with him over to the DMV just to watch the show. You know the one; it is where the cop gives you the demonstration of how to properly apply his baton to the back of Rainman’s head. That happens just before he properly applies the handcuffs. Having personally been in that situation, I knew I would enjoy seeing it happen to Rainman for the first time.

Now I know what you all are thinking. “Shame on you Pig for wanting to see your best friend be treated like that.” Yeah, yeah, I know. But it’s like this, Rainman is always telling me to behave. He never wants to let me get into trouble. There is no fun in good behavior. And once, just once, I would like for him to see and feel what I go through. OK, now with that said, here we go.

That day I went to work with Rainman and at lunch time he would head over to the DMV. Along the way there, I convinced him to stop and get me some lunch since once he was arrested; I knew it would be a while til I get to eat again. When we got to the DMV I stayed out in the truck while he went inside. I could see through the window he would be waiting in line a while so I finished my burger.

When it was his turn, I went up to the glass to watch. I would have gone inside but the sign on the door said “No Pets”, I didn’t want to push my luck. Chewing on some now cold fries, I watched and waited for the state trooper to come out as Rainman went to the front counter. He handed the girl his expired license. Yeap, any minute now that cop will come out.

Instead the girl handed him the card back with another piece of paper to fill out. They must wait with the cop to give Rainman a chance to fill out the “What to do with the dead body” form.

Rainman walked over to another table and began to fill the form out. This was much better, that must be where they will arrest him, it is right in front of everyone there. It was perfect to make an example of him.

I waited, still no cop yet.

Then Rainman went over to another counter. Ahhh, so that’s where they will do it. He was greeted by a smiling lady. That’s a trick they use. They smile at you to make you feel at ease for the coming doom.

Wait for it…

Any minute now that cop will come busting out the door and smack him on the head. I was on pins and needles waiting.

Wait for it…

Now he is looking in something that looks like a microscope, he is still talking to her.

Now he is pulling out his wallet. Maybe he has to empty his pockets.

No, now he is handing her money, OMG he’s paying her off to stay out of jail. Wait a minute, that sure is a cheap payoff.

W.T.H. She just handed him back his license along with another piece of paper. He’s still smiling. Here he comes. But…, but…, where the cops?

“Come on Pig, we’re done here.” He said walking to the truck.

“Hey, what’s the deal here?” “Why weren’t you arrested in there?”

Pig, I tried to tell you before, I only needed to renew my license, Come on Dude, let’s go.”

Awe Man, where the fun in that?

 

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He Warned Me

 

Pig Writes:

Hey there Piglets,

Everyone knows Rainman just turned 50 couple weeks ago.

He warned me not to blog about his birthday this year.

He told me not to joke about it either.

He even went as far as to warn me to leave it alone.

Rainman was oh so worried about turning 50 that it passed by quietly.

So what is the big deal about all that.

I’ll tell you what the big deal is.

This morning I was routing through his wallet looking for some beer money, when I looked at his drivers license I saw that it was EXPIRED. The dumb-ass was so worked up about his birthday that he forgot to renew it.

You should have seen the look on his face when I showed it to him.

I’m still laughing my ass off over it. Mr. Straight Lace forgot to renew his license.

Mr. Perfect messed up big time driving without his T.D.L. I can’t wait to see what they do to him at the DMV.

I hope the cop uses the baton.

 

Pig’s Interview

 

Pigs Interview

 

Rainman Writes:

 

Look at what they did to my little Buddy

 

For those of you who are wondering, Thunder Roads Writer Pig is recovering nicely and the culprit(s) still have not been caught.  Pig hasn’t said much, he sort of mumbles gibberish while on his pain meds.  Two things I have learned about Pig:

1.  Never try to teach Pig how to sing.

2.  Never try to talk to Pig when he is “high” on his pain meds.

Both are a waste of time and annoy Pig.

 

I was able to get a few questions answered when I handed Pig a beer.  He shotgunned the beer, sat bolt right up.  His eye popped open and he was his normal drunkard self for about five minutes.  I still need to know what he remembers about that night.  It is the only way we can find the culprit(s) who did this to Pig.  So quickly I fired off as many questions as I could.

 

RM:  “Pig, what do you remember after going to bed?”

Pig:   “I was dreaming of beer and boobs.”

 

RM:   “Who’s boobs?”

Pig:   “Big ones.”

 

RM:   “Pig, what happened when you were assaulted?”

Pig:   “I was asleep, then someone sucker punched me in the gut.”

 

RM:   “Then what happened?”

Pig:   “It was dark and I couldn’t see.  I started to fight back.  I was swinging wildly and I kept feeling something cut me.  I remember putting the assailant in a headlock.  We tumbled and I remember falling.  Then nothing else till I woke up in the hospital.”

 

RM:   “Do you remember anything at the hospital?”

Pig:   “I remember seeing cleavage and two big soft boobs.”

 

RM:   “Did you see your assailant?”

Pig:   “No Dumb-ass, I told you it was dark.”

 

RM:   “Do you remember anything else, any smells, feelings, ECT?”

Pig:   “Yeah, I remember bad breath, someone needed a Tic-tac.”

 

RM:   “Pig, before you had mentioned Bacon and Sizzle, what do those words mean?”

Pig:   “Not sure, I remember someone saying those words in a sentence.  But I cannot remember who it was that said it.”

RM:   “Do you have anyone mad at you?”

Pig:   No answer, Pig fell back asleep.

 

Here are the facts of what we know so far:

 

1. The room was dark.
2. Pig was sucker punched.
3. He was knocked out hitting his head on the self falling to the floor.
4. The assailant (one) had bad breath.
5. He remember someone possibly threatening to cook him.
6. Pig likes nurses with cleavage and big boobs.

 

All right folks, spread the word.  See if anyone knows anything.  Let us know ASAP.  You can leave a comment here or on Facebook.  Lets help Pig find justice while he rests.  We need him back writing as soon as he can.

 

Ride Hard or Stay Home

 

Rainman

 

May I Quote You On That

Greetings to all my Piglets out there,

So you think you can kick my ass.

For today’s post I wanted to share with you a few twisted rambling thoughts. You already know how I love to write and to tell stories of my and Rainman’s adventures out there on the road. I also love to collect quotations and use them in some of my stories. Writers, enthusiasts and people of character will use quotations by famous people in their writing all the time. I, for one, have even used a few of my own quotes as well. No, it does not mean I have become famous yet, but one day I just might. Want to hear one of my soon to be famous quotes? Here goes: “I shall fear no beer.” – Pig Pretty cool, huh?

Do you have a favorite quote you like to use?

Quotes help enable the writer to get their point across by using people of authority to validate the written word. I find that it also makes the writing a little more interesting.

In the biker world, quotations can be used to describe many situations or circumstances we bikers may face at any particular time. Example: “If you could kick the person responsible for most of your troubles, you would not be able to sit down for six months.” – Unknown

We are the one responsible for our own situation. In order for me to fulfill that quote, well, to be honest, I would first have to pick my ass up off the floor from being kicked.

So, do you boys come here often?

Quotes are great for describing things in regards to a particular journey in your story. Let’s try: “We cannot discover new oceans until we have the courage to lose sight of the shore.” – Muriel Chen

That could replace my quote of “No bar is too far for this Pig.” – Pig

Sometime I get a little writers block and using a quote from someone famous can help lengthen short writings. Here is the long version. “Security is mostly superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” – Helen Keller

And now the shorter version “Famous last words of a biker – watch this.” – Unknown

Quotations can even be used to describe a person’s thoughts as they are doing something. Example: “The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only to hold a man’s foot enough to enable him to put the other somewhat higher.” – Thomas H. Huxley said the Pig as he climbed upon the top of the large vat of beer.

When you must take a stance with your feet planted firmly on the ground as serious action is about to take place you can use something like this: Peter Drucker once said “There is the risk you cannot afford to take, and there is the risk you cannot afford not to take.” Hey! We’re out of beer and Flaming Hot Cheetos – someone drive me down to the icehouse.

It’s funny how some people quote themselves so much that they have become predictable. I know mom’s favorite quote has always been “If you don’t get in there and clean that room, I’ll beat you with a switch.” – Mom

Some quotes have the ability to remind you of what is important. I really like this next one. “The great tragedy of life is not death, but what dies inside of us while we live.” – Norman Cousins yeah, I can dig that.

I asked earlier if you have a favorite quote. What is it? I would love to know. Drop me a comment for all of us to enjoy. If I get some really good ones, I’ll see if I can use them in my next story. Giving you full credit of course.

In closing I would like to leave you with a quote that I use on a regular basis. It is a great quote from a man who faced opposition everyday. But he had the courage to look past that opposition to see what wondrous prize was awaiting him on the other side. I keep this quote on a sticky note next to my keyboard to remind me to never give up, to never quit. That quote is:

“Great spirits will always encounter violent opposition from mediocre minds.” – Albert Einstein

Ride HARD or Stay Home

Pig