Do You Know What Today Is?

Pig Writes:

Greetings

Well it’s March 1, 2013 and do you know what that means?

It’s time to pay that house payment – Yes.

Need to go to the grocery store and stock up – Ah Huh.

Still need to file my taxes – Yeap, that too.

What else is there about March 1^st?

It’s Friday – the weekend is here, Yea!

Your getting close, keep trying.

Oh, oh, oh, I know. It’s Share a Smile Day.

Smile! (Photo credit: sirwiseowl)

Wow, you’re getting warmer, here’s a hint. What coincides with Share a Smile Day?

I know, I know, it’s Peanut Butter Lovers Day.

Peanut butter is a semi-solid and can therefore hold peaks. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Your getting warmer, try one more time.

You say you can’t think of anything else it could be?

I just can’t believe you, Don’t you know March 1^st is National Pig Day.

That’s right folks today is the day we all pay homage to the pig – in other words to ME!

Devil’s Marbleyard: Pig (Photo credit: Vicky TGAW)

Oh joy, oh joy all hail Pig!

Thank you, thank you you may now kiss my hove.

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One More Step Up

 

Greetings to all my Pig fans out there.

 

I have great news today. 

 

There are times in our lives when we achieve great accomplishments.

 

Like drinking our first beer.

 

Or scoring your first (real) phone number from a hot babe.

 

Perhaps it could be the first time you reach 100MPH on a motorcycle and still be in 3^rd gear.

 

For writers it could be your first cover story on a magazine.  And that is what has been accomplished for me.

 

Yeap, squeeze me til I squeal cause I just got my first cover story writing for Thunder Roads Texas Magazine.

 

I’m so happy about; I wanted to share it with you all. 

 

It’s a story about two people falling in love and riding off into the sunset together.

 

Read it and tell me what you think.

 

Ride HARD or Stay Home.

 

Pig

 

 

This is God’s Country, Don’t Ride Through it Like Hell.

 

Greetings,

 

For those of you who didn’t hear, yesterday I spoke of an event so powerful it will change your life. 

 

An event so awesome that there will never be another one like it. 

 

This event is guaranteed to remove any and all symptoms of cabin fever or broken heart syndrome.

 

“Is there a catch to it” you ask?

 

Only one, you just have to be there.

 

We are three days and a awake up from the St. Valentines Day Massacre hosted by the Alamo City Gypsy’s.  This year the Rally will be in Hondo at the Medina County Fairgrounds.

 

There will be beer & B.B.Q..

 

There will be babes.

 

There will be bands with live music.

 

I am sending this out as a personal invite for all to come and enjoy a weekend of the biker lifestyle.

 

Leave me a reply if you are going or not.  For those of you who cannot be there letme know so I can drink a beer in your honor.   

 

The Winter Months Take Thier Toll

 

Pig Writes

 

 

Greetings to all my fine friends and companions.

 

Has the winter months been getting you down?

 

Did you NOT get everything you wanted for Christmas?

 

Did the 49’ers loss in the Super Bowl put you into a state of depression?

 

Or maybe you have a touch of the cabin fever?

 

Let me guess: Your girl friend just dumped you so she wouldn’t have to buy you a Valentines Gift?

 

Stop all that flubbering.  Put down that bag of Cheetos.  Dry your eyes and blow your nose.  Because I have great news just for you. 

 

We are 4 days and a wake up from a great event.  It is an event so powerful it will change your life.

 

Are You Ready For This?

 

It is now 4 days till the St. Valentines Day Massacre.

 

Yeap. Starting this Friday and running until Sunday there will be 3 days of pure biker partying.  And let me tell you buddy; this is one rally I am pumped up for.

 

I want you to make plans to be there, because come rain or shine we are gonna tear it up and I want you to be there standing (or leaning) right next to me.

 So come on down to South Texas for a party you will not soon forget. (Unless you wake up that way)

I’ll be back soon with more details.

 

Ride HARD or Stay Home.

 

Pig

 

Another Christmas Story The Conclusion

 

Pig Writes:

Later that night Christmas Eve, we sat by the fire sipping on some Christmas cheer.

I felt depressed and let down for the old craftsman.

I felt an empty hole deep inside of me.

But then my old friend spoke up and said “There is more to Christmas than just presents, Pig. I knew before I even took that toy box over there she wouldn’t like it.”

Then why did you do it? Why go through all that trouble and expense?

A smile came across his face, one that warmed the room. I could feel peace in the air. “I learned a long, long time ago you came never outgive the greatest gift ever given” he said.

Christmas is not about presents, or trees, lights and decorations. Christmas is about the one present God gave each of us, His son, Jesus Christ. That is the greatest gift ever given.

It says in John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his only son for those who believe in Him will have everlasting life.

That woman has spent her whole life busy trying to keep up with the Jones. She has lost any clue as to what Christmas is all about.

I built that toy box for my nephew, not for her. What she wanted was a high dollar piece of furniture to make her house look good. But it was not for her.

A hand made present has more meaning than any store bought present ever could. It means that you care enough about that person to spend time doing something nice for them.

I have received lots of Christmas presents through the years. Right now I cannot remember but only a few of them. But what I do remember is the Christmas gatherings and time I spent with family and friends. That means more to me than any present ever could.

Christmas is about our love for one another. It’s not about all that psycho baloney “Oh, I didn’t get the G.I. Joe with the kung foo grip for Christmas and now I am scarred for life and it’s all your fault”.

There was a pause as we both took a good long drag off of our Christmas cheer.

Then he said, “Pig, I want to learn to live your life by three little words.”

“OK, hit me.”

“Live, Laugh, Love” he said to me.

Live your life to the fullest each day as if it was your last.

Laugh with all of your might at everything funny.

Love with all your heart and all your soul.

There was another pause as I soaked in the words he had just spoken to me.

I looked at him and he smiled back at me. “Does this mean you won’t like my Christmas present to you?”

“What did you buy me Pig?”

“A six pack of beer.”

“Well then break it out and we’ll share it together my little pink friend” he said with a boisterous laugh as he gave me a hug. I have to admit, sitting by the fire with my best friend just talking and laughing. Well, that beer tasted pretty darn good to me.

Merry Christmas Everybody

Ride HARD or Stay Home

Pig

 

Another Christmas Story Part Three

Pig Writes

The bike is ready to go

“You know that if I screw this up – you will be the one who will have Hell to pay”, the craftsman informed his wife.

It was decided to forgo the stars and stain on the toy box. It would look much better painted.

Over the next few days the craftsman toiled with wood putty and sandpaper.

The final product was smooth and soft to the touch.

Touching the wood with my fingers I could feel the love and devotion hard work makes.

Finally painted and finished the toy box looked good. It looked professional.

Only the person who crafted this work of art knew where his flaws were.

Yet one lingering question remained.

Would the toy box be good enough for the sister in law.

Christmas Eve had come. It was time to load the toy box in the sled and deliver it to the nephew.

Before the man and has wife could pull away I sneaked into the back of the truck. I wanted to see what the reactions would be. I wanted to see for myself what I had hoped would be a miracle.

The craftsman was on his way to meet his nephew. He would hold him in his arms for the first time. He would be able to show his nephew what he built for him.

In the driveway of the sister in law house, the craftsman unloaded the toy box from the truck. It was placed gently in the garage.

I watched from the rear window of the truck as the sister in law walked around inspecting the toy box.

It was the moment of truth.

She did not smile, she didn’t so much as nod her head.

She gave her brother in law a halfhearted hug for all his effort. You could tell it was a fake.

The craftsman and his wife returned to the truck and we all drove home.

Along the way I had to ask a question I already knew the answer to. “Well, did she like it?”

The craftsman never said a word, his wife only said “Nope”.

Not another word was spoken the rest of the way home.

Part four: the conclusion of our story will posted on Christmas Eve.

Ride HARD or Stay Home.

Another Christmas Story Part One

 

Another
Christmas Story

Part
One

Pig
Writes.

The bike is ready to go

Long,
long ago there was a young man who had desires to be a woodworker.

He was
creative. He learned many things from his father.

He
learned how to use tools safely and how to care for them.

He
learned his craft true and straight like the cuts he made into the
wood he used. Better yet, like a true craftsman, he learned how to
hide his mistakes.

The
young man made all sorts of things, from wooden toys to shelves and
even furniture. For he was good at his craft.

English: old craft (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

People
from all around wanted him to build things for them.

But
then one day, he put his tools down and stored them away. People had
changed. They didn’t want to pay him what he was owed for his
services. They all seemed to take advantage of him for his craft.

The
love of his craft was gone. The young man no longer enjoyed what he
did.

That
was many years ago.

Recently
there was a birth of a nephew in the family and Christmas would soon
arrive.

The
man was asked by his wife to build a toy box for the new nephew as a
Christmas present.

At
first the man said “No!”. But his wife knew how to push his
buttons to convince him to say “Yes”. The poor guy never stood a
chance. Broken down and ashamed I heard him mutter “OK, I’ll do
it”.

He
would agree to build a toy box for the new nephew, but not for the
sister-in-law who could not bear to stand in the same room as him.

What
was going through his mind at that moment, I would not know.

I
wasn’t sure as to why he would agree to build something his heart was
not into.

I
would learn why soon enough.

Ride
HARD or Stay Home

Pig

 

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Rainman Gets Arrested

 

Pig Writes:

Hey there Piglets, yes, yes, yes, it’s me again. I have a new update for you. Are you ready for this? Here we go. In my last post I told ya’ll how Rainman (in his age of wisdom) forgot to renew his Texas drivers’ license. And now it is time to tell you what happened at the DMV As ya’ll know, at the DMV they have state troopers hanging out in the back room. They wait for dumb butts who walk in with warrants on their records and try to renew their license. They also wait there for the ones who drive up with a expired license too. And since Rainman has been driving for the past few weeks on an expired license…

I wanted to go with him over to the DMV just to watch the show. You know the one; it is where the cop gives you the demonstration of how to properly apply his baton to the back of Rainman’s head. That happens just before he properly applies the handcuffs. Having personally been in that situation, I knew I would enjoy seeing it happen to Rainman for the first time.

Now I know what you all are thinking. “Shame on you Pig for wanting to see your best friend be treated like that.” Yeah, yeah, I know. But it’s like this, Rainman is always telling me to behave. He never wants to let me get into trouble. There is no fun in good behavior. And once, just once, I would like for him to see and feel what I go through. OK, now with that said, here we go.

That day I went to work with Rainman and at lunch time he would head over to the DMV. Along the way there, I convinced him to stop and get me some lunch since once he was arrested; I knew it would be a while til I get to eat again. When we got to the DMV I stayed out in the truck while he went inside. I could see through the window he would be waiting in line a while so I finished my burger.

When it was his turn, I went up to the glass to watch. I would have gone inside but the sign on the door said “No Pets”, I didn’t want to push my luck. Chewing on some now cold fries, I watched and waited for the state trooper to come out as Rainman went to the front counter. He handed the girl his expired license. Yeap, any minute now that cop will come out.

Instead the girl handed him the card back with another piece of paper to fill out. They must wait with the cop to give Rainman a chance to fill out the “What to do with the dead body” form.

Rainman walked over to another table and began to fill the form out. This was much better, that must be where they will arrest him, it is right in front of everyone there. It was perfect to make an example of him.

I waited, still no cop yet.

Then Rainman went over to another counter. Ahhh, so that’s where they will do it. He was greeted by a smiling lady. That’s a trick they use. They smile at you to make you feel at ease for the coming doom.

Wait for it…

Any minute now that cop will come busting out the door and smack him on the head. I was on pins and needles waiting.

Wait for it…

Now he is looking in something that looks like a microscope, he is still talking to her.

Now he is pulling out his wallet. Maybe he has to empty his pockets.

No, now he is handing her money, OMG he’s paying her off to stay out of jail. Wait a minute, that sure is a cheap payoff.

W.T.H. She just handed him back his license along with another piece of paper. He’s still smiling. Here he comes. But…, but…, where the cops?

“Come on Pig, we’re done here.” He said walking to the truck.

“Hey, what’s the deal here?” “Why weren’t you arrested in there?”

Pig, I tried to tell you before, I only needed to renew my license, Come on Dude, let’s go.”

Awe Man, where the fun in that?

 

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He Warned Me

 

Pig Writes:

Hey there Piglets,

Everyone knows Rainman just turned 50 couple weeks ago.

He warned me not to blog about his birthday this year.

He told me not to joke about it either.

He even went as far as to warn me to leave it alone.

Rainman was oh so worried about turning 50 that it passed by quietly.

So what is the big deal about all that.

I’ll tell you what the big deal is.

This morning I was routing through his wallet looking for some beer money, when I looked at his drivers license I saw that it was EXPIRED. The dumb-ass was so worked up about his birthday that he forgot to renew it.

You should have seen the look on his face when I showed it to him.

I’m still laughing my ass off over it. Mr. Straight Lace forgot to renew his license.

Mr. Perfect messed up big time driving without his T.D.L. I can’t wait to see what they do to him at the DMV.

I hope the cop uses the baton.

 

Writers Block

I’m so cool I gotta wear shades

One of the great things about blogging is you get to be creative as you want. One of the bad things about blogging is you can also acquire a mean case of writers block. That last one is what I have been going through for the past month. One mean case of writers block. But thanks to my good friend and follow blogger, Leanne Shirtliffe ~ironic mom, my blockage is healing much better. If you have never read her blog before, I would suggest you pop on over and check it out.

A few weeks ago she posted about two young fellows using a word that one would never expect for them to use. Thanks to that post, it gave me an idea to get my creative juices flowing once more.

Today I am going to take a word and see how much I can write about that one word. This might be interesting. If it works I will give full credit to Ms. Leanne. Since this is the first time I am doing this I will keep it simple. Leanne, I hope I do you proud!

Ready?

Here goes

I think I’ll call this “ For The Love Of A Pig”

What is love?

Where does love come from?

What is loves purpose?

Love serves me laughter, like foamy bubbles tickling my nose.

Loves taste is bitter sweet.

Love starts out cold.

If left alone love becomes lukewarm.

Love comes in many shapes and sizes.

Love is powerful. It gives me the strength of 10 pigs.

Love is hurtful. It can bring me to my knees.

Love can make me sick.

Love can also make me happy.

A shot of love can brighten even the darkest day.

Wait a minute…

Did I use the word “Love”?

Damn it!

I meant to use the word “Beer” This is great, now I screwed it all up. Sorry everyone, sorry Leanne. I guess I need to go back and try again. I guess I’m not fully recovered from the blockage. Good thing this isn’t a homework assignment.